im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
