I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
