I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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