Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
