I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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