ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
