when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
