ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize