i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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