Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
