i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
