I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
