So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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