You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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