dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize