Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
