She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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