Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
