Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
