I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
