Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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