your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
