he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
