Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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