He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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