Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
