do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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