It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize
