party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My dick has a subreddit
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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