He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
