You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize