Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
