Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Randomize
