We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
