In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
