just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize