He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
