i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
