Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
