There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
