Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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