Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
