come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
