I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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