I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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