you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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