We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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