He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
