Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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