can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize