Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
