Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
