She's JV to your varsity
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
This is my gift to your gina
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize