Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
