You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
