make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
