For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize