never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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