giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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