You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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