I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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