Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
