Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Randomize
