We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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