After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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