People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
