you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
