No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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