You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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