he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize