Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
