Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
