He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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