she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
my poor anus
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
