I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
